Chewing Gum For The Eyes

We've been dipping our toes into the kids'-television waters lately, and I'm finding them to be chilly.

NJ is watching a few minutes in the morning, between breakfast and day care, and another stretch some evenings before dinner. Altogether it's not even pushing 30 minutes total, yet. NJ has three favorites, at this point:

The Wiggles
Sweet Virginia, do I have a healthy dislike for these New Zealand blokes. They're very annoying -- each has a trademark sweater color, they have vaguely dopey looks on their faces all the time, and their songs are The. Worst. Go on -- click on one of those videos and listen to the songs for at least a minute. Then, try to get it out of your head for the rest of the day. (SPOILER ALERT: You won't be able to.) The Wife takes NJ upstairs in the mornings while she gets dressed, usually around the time I'm pouring my first cup of coffee before heading down to the office. When NJ starts saying "wee-guls" and heads to the bedroom stairs, I quicken my pace, too -- in the other direction.

Yo Gabba Gabba
Another dad told me about this show, and while I've only seen it once ... I think it may be my favorite. Lend your eyes and ears to this and tell me that's not, if nothing else, interesting. As your lawyer, I advise you to start watching Yo Gabba Gabba heavily.

I, for one, welcome our new green-striped overlords.

Sesame Street
Still ranked No. 1. NJ loves the Cookie Monster, Ernie and Big Bird, but her favorite is still the little red dude. I like to bring NJ down here to the office to watch Sesame Street clips online, because you can hunt for some compelling special guests.

Still the one.

Embarrassing Parental Milestone 2: Return Of The Embarrassing Parental Milestone

Last evening, NJ picked the remote control up off the coffee table and pointed it at the television.

That is all.

That's What She Said, Or: Embarrassing Parental Milestone

For the first several weeks of NJ's life, obviously, The Wife and I (mostly her) were up all hours feeding and caring for her. That's when the DVR earned its keep. Set that puppy to record shows during the day, then watch them at all hours when the kid needs to nurse and be rocked to sleep. We had a seemingly endless supply of "The Office" episodes, because both TBS and a local TV station shows multiple reruns throughout the day. The Wife and I ODed on Michael Scott's sublimely boneheaded antics to the point that now, when an episode starts, I know if there is a joke in it that strikes The Wife as particularly funny; when it comes along, she chuckles and I say "Oh, you thought that was funny, did you?" in a super-sarcastic voice. She does the same to me. (Possibly related note: We are dorks.) So: It's a good bet that over the last eight-plus months, "The Office" has been on our television set for at least a few minutes almost every day.

Late last week I was flipping around after dinner and "The Office" came on right at the beginning. The theme song started up, and NJ -- who was nursing, eyes closed and head facing the other direction, content to the point of being in another world -- jerked her head around and stared at the screen until the music was over. The next night, same situation, same result -- "The Office" theme immediately got her attention, like a bomb went off in the corner of the living room. Next night, same deal. Every time I've played "The Office" for her since, in fact. She's Pavlov's Cutie.

The future Mrs. Dwight K. Shrute?

So chalk this up as my official First Corruption of Youth. I think my next project will be to train her to make me a martini every time she hears the theme from "Mad Men."