And The Student Becomes The Teacher

For months now I've been relentlessly quizzing NJ on virtually everything:

"What color is that?" (Typical answer: "Geen." Or, "Red." But no more "o-shon" for orange, which is good but kind of makes me and The Wife wistful for simpler times.)

"What is this?" (Typical answer: "A doggie." Sometimes, "A yellow doggie.")

"Who's that?" (Typical answer: "Mommy!" Also: "NJ!" when presented with a photo of herself. I've used that one so much that yesterday she said "NJ!" before I even turned my phone around to show her the pic.)

"What does this do?" (Typical answer, if we're talking about her Curious George jack-in-the-box: "Monkey comes out of the box.")

With all the questions, I should have been wearing this for the past several months.

So this morning, when we were both sitting on the couch bracing ourselves for the day ahead, the little dickens snatched the pebble from my hand.

"Who is Yo Gabba Gabba?" NJ asked me, beaming and pointing to the TV show, currently her favorite, that she was watching.

The host was on the screen, so I answered "DJ Lance?"

"Right!" she said triumphantly before turning back to the TV. And I swear I saw a little flash of pride in her eyes. She probably thinks I'm developing quite nicely (but could put out a little more effort).

BOOM! Consider the tables turned, Dad Solo!

As Bugs Bunny Would Say, 'What A Maroon'

Here I've been talking up NJ's love of Sesame Street and Elmo, in particular, for so long, and now there's this from the totally rational, thoughtful and commonsensical Ben Shapiro:

The book, published by Rupert Murdoch's HarperCollins is perhaps at its most condemnatory when accusing the creators of Sesame Street of attempting to brainwash young children. It quotes Mike Dann, one of the show's founding executives, saying it "was not made for the sophisticated or the middle class".

Early episodes featured the character Grover breaking bread with a hippie. Oscar, who lived in a rubbish bin, was supposed to address "conflicts arising from racial and ethnic diversity."

"Sesame Street tried to tackle divorce, tackled 'peaceful conflict resolution' in the aftermath of 9/11 and had [gay actor] Neil Patrick Harris on the show playing the subtly-named 'fairy shoeperson'," notes Shapiro.

I've been duped by plush puppets. Man, is my face red! (Embarrassed red, not fellow-traveler red, I swear.)

What are we to do with this rogue's gallery of Destroyers of the American Way?

Never puts his hand over his heart when 'The Star-Spangled Banner' is played.

Why, just look at how green this one is! Any doubt that he's a filthy tree-hugger?

'H' is for 'health care.' I guess he also has a 'D' for 'death' and a 'P' for 'panels' handy, too.

Hey, Oscar, get out of the trash can and get a job!

Is this guy's cape ... pink? Hmmmm.

But NJ's heart will hurt the most when she finds out that her favorite Muppet is part of this America-hating cabal:

OK, Elmo, let's see your birth certificate!

I just hope the Wiggles don't turn out to be a terrorist sleeper cell. (Although, frankly, I wouldn't put it past them.)

Chewing Gum For The Eyes

We've been dipping our toes into the kids'-television waters lately, and I'm finding them to be chilly.

NJ is watching a few minutes in the morning, between breakfast and day care, and another stretch some evenings before dinner. Altogether it's not even pushing 30 minutes total, yet. NJ has three favorites, at this point:

The Wiggles
Sweet Virginia, do I have a healthy dislike for these New Zealand blokes. They're very annoying -- each has a trademark sweater color, they have vaguely dopey looks on their faces all the time, and their songs are The. Worst. Go on -- click on one of those videos and listen to the songs for at least a minute. Then, try to get it out of your head for the rest of the day. (SPOILER ALERT: You won't be able to.) The Wife takes NJ upstairs in the mornings while she gets dressed, usually around the time I'm pouring my first cup of coffee before heading down to the office. When NJ starts saying "wee-guls" and heads to the bedroom stairs, I quicken my pace, too -- in the other direction.

Yo Gabba Gabba
Another dad told me about this show, and while I've only seen it once ... I think it may be my favorite. Lend your eyes and ears to this and tell me that's not, if nothing else, interesting. As your lawyer, I advise you to start watching Yo Gabba Gabba heavily.

I, for one, welcome our new green-striped overlords.

Sesame Street
Still ranked No. 1. NJ loves the Cookie Monster, Ernie and Big Bird, but her favorite is still the little red dude. I like to bring NJ down here to the office to watch Sesame Street clips online, because you can hunt for some compelling special guests.

Still the one.